After 25 years of marriage, our top 10 tips for couples
My husband and I have been married for twenty-five years as of 2023. Over the years we have listened and read, and watched all the advice that’s out there. We decided to put some of our own advice that we have learned over the years in the hopes that it helps recent and new relationships. If you find this useful, do let us know in the comments! We love to hear from our readers and followers. Feel free to add your own advice and tips as well!
Always have your partner’s back, especially in public. They could be saying the craziest shit - back them up anyway! When you are home alone, in private, that’s when you can correct them and let them know you disagree, think it was wrong or whatever else…
Opposites do NOT attract. Sure, it’s exciting at first and will be for a while, until those differences catch up to you and start to affect your relationship. Pick someone who has the values you find important, and other common interests. It will make life smoother and easier to be with someone who is aligned with your own thoughts, needs and desires.
Notice everything in your partner: new shirt, new hair, different glasses, whatever. Observe and compliment every change, no matter how subtle it may be. Be aware and make sure your partner knows you see them!
Your partner should come first. Always and no matter what! Obviously if you have small children, their needs come first while they’re young and helpless. But generally speaking, your partner is the only person whose needs come first (not your friends, parents or co-workers).
Compliment, compliment, compliment! Remember to compliment each other, even it it’s at the end of a long day and you couldn’t care less if your partner looks good. You are doing it for them, not for you…
Look at each other, truly look at each other on a regular basis. Put your phone down and engage with one another. Make sure they know you care about their day and what’s going on in their life.
Communicate about your needs and listen to theirs. Don’t ever assume that they will somehow know what you need, because they won’t. Until mind-reading becomes a reality, assume nothing and share your feelings.
Red flags are there for a reason, always pay attention especially at the beginning of a relationship. Because guess what? Those red flags never go away, but grow into much bigger issues.
You don’t need to share every little thing with your partner. All the little minutia details that may be negative or unnecessary or those that will add to their already stressful day - don’t do it. That’s what friends are for. Get a good support system for that. Your partner shouldn’t be your everything, and especially not your therapist. Sometimes it’s just too much and will ruin your relationship and sex life.
9. You've heard of the phrase 'too much of a good thing can be bad'. Same goes for everything. Too much of ANYTHING is bad.
Too good sex, too much of attention, too many gifts, etc. When a person overdoes it with gifts, attention, (insert × here) usually means something too. Once in a while is great, but when over the top behavior is constant, you need to start paying attention and asking why... the keywords in healthy relationships should be:
STEADY, EVEN and RELIABLE.