Get rid of your List!

At a recent dating/relationship workshop, I discussed various topics pertaining to the issues most singles face while dating.  It ranged from 'what an appropriate online dating profile looks like' to 'how to screen your matches like a Matchmaker would'.  We discussed at length the importance of having a healthy relationship with yourself first prior to venturing out into the dating scene, setting boundaries for yourself as it pertains to dating, and having a proper dating profile. But one particular topic kept coming up from my single attendees.  At what point does one stop looking for all the qualities they want in a partner and only stick with the ones they HAVE to have? 

For example, there are some things you can live with if you found the right partner; he/she is kind, nurturing, loving, has a great job, and has similar hobbies and interests in life as you. So what if he doesn't have a college degree, or she won't join you on your daily runs or participate in marathons?  Would you really want to date someone exactly like yourself? Partners need to have their own separate interests or else you end up dating yourself, and who whats that!  One of the biggest challenges I have as a Matchmaker are with clients who refuse to be open-minded about dating outside of their comfort zones, and the result is they end up staying single longer and longer... 

Bottom line is that you can't have it all, I know I'm not supposed to say that but it's the truth, and there's no reason to sugarcoat it. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses, and one person can't be everything and can't have all the qualifications from your list.  If he does have a great career and can take care of you and the family, then most likely he won't have all the time in the world to spend with you since that demanding career of his WILL take ALL of his time. If he has the looks of a model that you want, most likely he knows it and with that sometimes comes arrogance and being full of yourself. If you want a woman who is ten to twenty years younger than you, that also comes with pitfalls and strings attached. She might always be looking for something younger and better and won't be around forever... No, I'm not saying all women are like that, but how will you know if all you're looking for is young and hot?  Same goes for women, if one of the most important things on your list is his height, his financial status and good looks, what happens when he doesn't want you because you gained weight after the pregnancy or even without one?  

My point is this: go for the heart, go after the brain and the emotional and mental connection with someone;  after all those are the most important things in life. Not the superficial things.

One last piece of thought and advice. When a Matchmaker suggests someone for you, it's because there's a reason for it, so instead of fighting it just go and meet that person. What do you have to lose? Seriously what do you have to lose?