Let's talk about self-esteem...

I have wanted to discuss this topic for quite some time now. Confidence, self-esteem and self-worth, they go hand in hand, however I’ve noticed how many people lack all those attributes. My clients range in age, culture and physical appearance and it always catches me by surprise to see how little confidence some of them have. I don’t know why after all these years I’m still surprised. The most beautiful women have the lowest self-esteem, it never fails. They spend so much time on their physical appearance, hair, makeup, clothing, fillers and injections, lashes, etc… yet they’re still not happy with themselves. Why is that you might ask, and how does one go about raising their self-esteem? Well, let’ talk about it.

There are obviously many factors involved and many reasons why people don’t value themselves, or appreciate their own beauty as much as others might. Obviously they never fully accepted themselves, their physical appearance and their value to the world. We may see a gorgeous woman, with a perfect body and skin, but in their eyes all they see is how much more work they need to get done. It can be as small as having a standing appointment to have fake eyelashes glued on, or their hair be perfectly blown out at all times. And if you think men don’t have low self-esteem or they don’t go to extreme lengths to alter their physical appearance, you’re wrong. I’ve known men who have spent thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, only to be unsatisfied and continue to get more and more work done. It always starts out with something small; they’ve spent years hating a bump on their nose or gotten teased about the size of their ears, and it never goes away.

It can be something that they’ve carried with them from their childhood, something their parents said or did, and they never fully addressed it. Although, at some point you need to realize that you’re an adult now, and holding onto something that your Father said about your crooked nose or some bully in the third grade is pretty ridiculous. Talk about it, work it out in your head and move on. Obviously if you had a traumatic experience or been assaulted in some way, you need to seek professional help and learn ways to overcome it. But if it’s something trivial like I mentioned above…, you truly need to move on because it’s only hurting you and your life.

At some point people need to learn how to accept themselves, flaws and all. And that includes learning how to love themselves just the way they are. So what if you don’t have long, thick and luxurious hair or eyelashes that go on for days? Who cares! Do you always have to do full hair and makeup, even if you’re just running to the store? Of course not, and honestly you are the only one that notices that you have no makeup on. I guarantee that most women look even better and younger without a full face of makeup. Maybe if we all focused more on our brains, our mental stability and accept things the way they are, we’d all be a lot happier too. Think about all the time you will save by not focusing on the physical, by spending less time in front of a mirror and how much money you’ll save by stopping all the unnecessary appointments (do you really need different color lenses for your eyes? how about those fake lashes, hair extensions, Brazilian blow outs, Prada handbags and so much more!)

Women ask me all the time; why am I still single? I make great money, I have a great body, I take care of myself, I look great in a bikini, blah, blah, blah… Ladies, focus more on what you have to offer to a partner on the inside, not on the outside and you’ll understand why you’ve been single all these years.