Natural means different things to men and women...
By Cassidy McAllister - Coach and Matchmaking Director for matchbyjulia.com
I was recently listening to my boss, matchmaker Julia Bendis on KIIS F.M with Ryan Seacrest. They were talking about going on non-dates after the gym. Ryan kept saying that he liked that idea, that it would show the girl in her ‘natural’ state. Hah, that’s what he thinks! He has no idea how much money we have spent on makeup to accomplish that “natural” look! I think men have this fabletics commercial image of a girl coming from the gym with a cute athleisure wear, a rosy glow from the workout, and some fresh glossy lips. I do hot yoga, and when I walk out of the class, men are not prone to saying, ”Wow, lady you look so luminous, can I take you out for drinks?” No, it’s more like: “Hey little fella, do ya need an extra towel to dry off with?”
The first time I knew that perhaps a little makeup would do me some good was when I was thirteen, and a lady said I was the spitting image of Leonardo DiCaprio. Looking back, it wasn’t a total insult - he was very pretty in his youth. Regardless, it was at that point that my love affair with makeup first started. I must admit that it was a rocky start, and I had far more misses than hits. I spent the late part of my teens to mid-twenties looking a lot like an oompa loompa. I was crazy about sunless tanner and really thought I could pull off the bleach blonde look. Since then, I have studied doing makeup in stores on Youtube, and now I think I might actually have it down.
I have some friends that have amazing moms that say, “You don’t have to improve a thing, you are beautiful.” When I get to be a mom I hope I am like that. I also hope that if my daughter starts growing a mustache at a young age, I will be able to tell her ever so gently “Let’s take care of this situation...” My mom always told me I had a different look, not like Gigi Hadid different, but more like - you might want to develop a good sense of humor - type of different. Regardless, my theory is that you should always make your best effort. Don’t do anything you are not comfortable with, but let a guy know you want to look good for him.
I have been with my husband for almost four years now, so you know things have gotten real. I have been sick, and he has had a minor ache or two..stuff has happened. I love my husband so much, even though he always says things like, “I love it when you wear your hair naturally straight.” The problem with that is that my hair isn’t naturally straight. I have huge, kinda curly, kinda straight Tonya Harding hair, with a not so cute Margot Robbie as Tonya Harding twist. And by that, I mean bad 1994 Olympics Tonya Harding hair. I have to plan well ahead of our date nights, so I can achieve that straight hair look that takes me at least two hours to do. I put all the extra effort in because I love my husband and I know it makes him feel good that I want to look my best for him. By no means should you think you have to look like a supermodel for your man, but I do think that you can show a man you care for him by presenting yourself well, and it will go a long way.