Julia's interview with lipstickandbras.com - definition of success, self-esteem and advice to singles
Q: What is your definition of success and what sacrifices did you have to make to get to where you are in your career today?
A: My definition of success has less to do with your social media following, and more with how many people you have helped along the way. It really doesn't matter what business you are in or what job you have, success is when you have helped others along the way, supported them and been a mentor.
One of the biggest sacrifices I had to make in my life was letting go of a steady paycheck when I decided to start my own Matchmaking and Coaching business. I started it on my own, without a loan or help from anyone. I had many people along the way who not only doubted my success, but flat out told me it couldn't be done and that I would most likely fail. That negativity actually gave me the fire to persist! My whole life I have used negativity as my fire and fuel to prove those people wrong, and it worked. I encourage people to stop listening to others as it pertains to their life and career. Only you know what can and will work for you, so stop listening to everyone! Nobody knows you and your goals like you do, that's the only opinion you need.
Q: Self-esteem issues is something that all of us women deal with at one point. How do you ensure that you have a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth?
A: Self-esteem is something every woman needs more of, and we have all battled with low self-esteem at one point in our lives, myself included. It is something that has to come from within, as cliche as that sounds. No matter how many people tell you that you are beautiful, or smart or worthy, if you don't feel it on your own, you will never believe them. It's not an easy challenge to overcome, but my self-worth and self-esteem has always come from being able to accomplish tasks or goals. For example, when I match a client with another single person and witness them develop an amazing relationship, it makes me feel good about myself, not to mention when they go on to have children! Knowing I helped create a life, that in itself is a huge self-esteem boost. Helping people that are in need or being an advocate for human trafficking victims is another crucial self-esteem boost. Help others and it will make you feel so much better about yourself and who you are as a person.
Q: As an expert what advice would you give to single women on love and dating?
A: Stop listening to your Single friends! Like I said above, nobody knows what's best for you, only you know that. What does your gut tell you? Listen to your instincts, watch out for red flags, do not go against your gut. It is hardly ever wrong. Another big piece of advice is have common sense when out there dating: only meet in public places, take your own car or Lyft/Uber, do not overshare on the first date, listen more than you speak. I know the last one is tough because we like to talk, but you will walk away from the date knowing nothing about him if all you do is talk. Ask him questions about his life and his passions, and he should do the same in return.
Q: What do you see in the future for your business and brand?
A: I am in the process of publishing my first book about my life in the former Soviet Union, and funny stories of growing up there and immigrating to America, called 'No Smiling Allowed'. My second book is also in the works, which will be about my clients and all the crazy things they ask for, including strange fetishes, unrealistic expectations and much more, called ‘Confessions of a Mathmaker’!
Q: Your favorite books?
A: One of my favorite books is by Esther Perel called 'Mating in Captivity', everyone man or woman should read it! My other favorite book is by Elizabeth Gilbert called 'Committed'. I encourage my clients and my friends to read them both, it will help you understand relationships, and see things from a very different perspective.