How’s your relationship during these challenging times?
How’s your relationship going?
Let's talk about it... Better yet let's talk about all relationships during these difficult and trying times.
When looking at statistics, it's no surprise to learn that many relationships struggle or end up failing altogether during troublesome times. Unfortunately most people do not talk about it openly, even though our society has made great progress in normalizing therapy. But we like to keep up with others, pretending that everything is great and perfect...
The last few months have been incredibly difficult for people all over the globe. Between the Covid-19 pandemic and police brutality, we have had our hands full with worry, fear and sadness. That's on top of our everyday fears of losing employment, our children having to adjust to the new normal, not being able to socialize and of course the worry of having to put food on the table. But one thing people aren't discussing as openly as the above mentioned issues are relationships. We are not talking about our relationships, our home life and how this year has taken a toll on marriages and relationships. But we should be, as often and as loud as we can.
As someone who is in the business of love and relationships, I have seen firsthand how a tragedy can bring out the worst in people. When you have underlying issues in a relationship and add some world problems to it, not everyone can deal with it in a rational and calm manner. I have always said that you don't truly know a person unless you have gone through a tragedy or life changing event with them. Even the best relationships have faltered and had their moments of weakness in the last few months, but those that have had issues prior to the Covid-19 pandemic are faring the worst. This is the time to seek help and advice more than ever, not just for your relationship but for your own mental health. Here are my recommendations on what to do, and where to turn to for advice and help with your relationship issues.
Esther Perel - a psychotherapist whose books and work I highly recommend to all my friends and clients. She has studied and worked with couples all over the world for many decades. Her advice and her view of relationships is very different from traditional and known therapists, and most importantly relatable. I highly suggest her books: 'Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence', 'The state of affairs: rethinking infidelity', and her podcast that is done with real life couples called 'Where should we begin'. She recently started a Covid-19 edition of her podcast interviewing couples that are isolating together, while having various issues. You can find more information on her website: estherperel.com and on her Instagram page @estherperel
The Gottman Institute - Founded by Drs. Julie and John Gottman to help couples over 40 years ago. Their research lab in Seattle literally studied the way couple fight, how to improve it and help find solutions. They have written numerous books on relationships and marriage, they continue to help and guide straight and gay couples through their work, website and social media. I highly recommend their recent book for couples called 'The 7 principles of making marriage work'. For more information, visit their website: gottman.com and on Facebook @GottmanInstitute as well as on Instagram @gottmaninstitute
And of course you can always contact myself, I offer hourly session for advice, tips or just to vent…
I would love to hear your stories of struggle and triumph and everything in between as it pertains to your relationships.